In search of Patra Ni Macchi In Delhi

On the weekend we decided that we would finally go to the Parsi Dhramsala and I would go to the Agiary. Half the incentive came from my longing to go say a full prayer and the other half came from my boyfriend’s longing to eat patra-ni-machi. (Since he is more bawa than most bawas in his food habits, including akoori!)

I got up, only to discover that we didn’t have water that morning and I couldn’t have a bath. Half the incentive died, and I went back to sleep. But the other half was alive as ever, chewing my brains incessantly over how we would get something nice. And he went on listing endlessly; they may have kababs sassanian had, or dhansak since it’s a Sunday, Sali-boti etc..etc… till I gave the logic that we don’t even know if it will be there, and I can’t go to the fire-temple without a bath anyway, so why go that far and get disappointed. And I went back to sleep again.

SO!… he pulled himself out of bed, groggily searched for the delhi city guide, found the number of the dharamsala on the ‘places of worship’ page (all this while I was asleep) gave me the phone and the book, and sat there staring till I had to get up!

I reluctantly called, asked about Agiary timings, … and gingerely continued to … what went like this –
Me: Aunty one last thing, do you have patra-ni-machi
Aunty: WHAT?
Me: Will your canteen be having patra-ni-machi
Aunty: Patra-ni-machi? At the moment? Not at the moment…where are you calling from, you are not from delhi? (By now I wanted to hang up)
Me: No aunty, I’m from bombay.
Aunty: Dikra in garmi we don’t have patra-ni-machi …(before I could ask for anything more she contd.) … infact we don’t have any machi! Phone slammed. Search for para-ni-machi ended. It has been temporarily suspended till further notice…

AND my mom makes the best patra-ni-machi in the world…

Party Top for Rs. 35/-

It happens only in India. And this is one of the things we should be proud of. We have a struggling public healthcare system; no social social security numbers, a fragile infrastructure and, the number of roads with streetlights can be counted on your fingers, if your flight takes-off in the evening. BUT.. there's a big BUT in the middle, we will have enough fashion, gossip and junkfood to share with the whole planet. It's a pity we don't export vadapavs and tikkis to our white counterparts, and that they don’t have palettes for such fare. Or the bestseller would be the monk..sorry.. ‘the bhaiyya who sold his haathgaadi’. Now lets get straight to the point, I got a Katy Collen party top, (no clue who she is) for Rs. 35 at a Lajpat Nagar Store that was keen to sell anything to you for that price.

Even foreigners, who generally believe anything in India, did not believe it. And I have enough fashion-street heritage in me to not find this exciting. I mean we do find cheap clothes, shoes, junk, in many markets… but 35 bucks?? My ongoing delhi-mumbai argument with my boyfriend is becoming a losing one, with delhi doing things like this! Selling hot, fashion savvy, party-tops, halter-necks, spaghettis, denim skirts and what-not for 35 freaking bucks. All under the banner of export reject. I’m so unashamed and stirred that I don’t even want to slyly deny it…I want to go telling and raving and blogging all over the planet. Total Number or denim skirts 3, party tops 4, other short skirts 2, scarves 3, capris 3 (brand names include, lee, katy and some French words I can’t either pronounce or spell) Total profit – Rs. 525/- Now even I can say- in our times you got party tops for Rs. 35/- and those were the good ones!!

AND my mom asks, and prods and guesses the prices, with raised brows, when we splurge on big brands. She raised her eyebrows again this time when i went home in one those and alas...said the same - tell me the truth, you are lying.. !!!!

Honk Delhi Honk

With the widest roads, enough space in all 6 directions to grow in and a suave metro in place, one would think we have arrived. But for some strange reason people insist on honking even on empty roads. So I blamed it like most others, on the 'bus lobby' that's eaten into the roads, but I was proved wrong, even cycle rickshaws insist on going triing triiiinnnnnnggg tringggg incessantly, as if it’s the local sport of the city, and something they shouldn’t be left out of.

I figured that mindless-honking is a value that one learns early in life, when I saw a busy man who was eating, driving and sms’ing at the same time, asking his little 5 year old to keep the horn pressed while he juggled the phone and a dripping burger. So, in the quest for some logic I decided to address the issue openly with avid Delhi fans, and it seems like I’m really weird that I have a problem with the unnecessary honking…
Jassi aunty says- Honking is a way of acknowledging one’s presence, they are not like the rude ones who drive past without noticing you
Old Uncle Dheer says - Acha hai, hum alert ho sakte hai, pedestrians should know a car is coming in full speed…
The office boy says - woh toh ladki dekh ke aise hi tamasa karte hai
My boss – Really? No, I haven’t noticed… (he honks like a fanatic himself!)
Imagine if we did a ‘Honk Delhi Honk!’ campaign what a hit it would be, coz honking is actually more popular than both IPL and chola-kulcha!

AND my mom keeps asking over the phone...what's all that noise, are you on the road... so if i said the honking can be heard till mumbai, it wouldn't be an exaggeration...

Disclaimer- All characters and identities are fictional and bear no resemblence with anyone alive or dead.